LIFE - THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHRISTIAN/HYPOCRITE

Over the years, those I have loved and let in close, have made me question myself. And, I have questioned and questioned and questioned myself. I wondered if there was something wrong with me as I had repeatedly been told there was. I wondered if I was not capable of healthy relationships... If I was not deserving of love.... If perhaps I was crazy, as I and everyone else had been told I was... I was afraid to love, afraid that I just wasn't built with whatever it took inside, afraid to hurt another person. So, I accepted it was me. I took all of the blame, others were so eager to shift, upon myself. I let others define me. I let others tear me down. I let others destroy me. I let others make me question myself, my motives, my love, my heart, my reality, my sanity... I had spent years reading books, trying to have healthy relationships. Trying and trying and trying but something was off and perhaps it was me. They did make a compelling argument, I did seem to be the common den...

I was so happy to come across this article this morning. It's so awesome to see that someone else in the world sees truth and is trying to do something about it!  I was a victim of my sister my whole life and nobody would listen, I was just constantly told to stop my whining. Then, when I couldn't take it any more, I would blow up (you know fight or flight, when flight didn't work I'd try the other). Yet, all anyone would ever see is my blowing up and they would blame me and tell me to just shut my mouth, get over it, and forgive. They would say that things were just fine and normal and then I'd start screaming. Yeah, because fine and normal to them meant me being constantly controlled or abused! Just like the article says, I was the youngest so I took it from everyone. Any time I'd open my mouth someone would tell me to shut it or make fun of me. It was everyone trapped in the cycle, not just my sister, but their treatment of me taught her that I was an acc...

Then let me give you some perspective :) Starting with verse 3, Genesis 5 collapses into nothing more than a litany of numbers and outdated names: When Adam had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seth. After Seth was born, Adam lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Adam lived 930 years, and then he died. When Seth had lived 105 years, he became the father of Enosh. And after he became the father of Enosh, Seth lived 807 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Seth lived 912 years, and then he died. When Enosh had lived 90 years, he became the father of Kenan, Enosh lived 815 years and had other sons and daughters.... From there, you plug in new names and different numbers, but that's pretty much the chapter. Some guy first becomes a father at an age well beyond qualifying for the AARP, and then he proceeds to produce more sons and daughters on his way to death's door. In an era before politi...