Skip to main content


Showing posts from May, 2013

Everybody's Fine

Cory and I don't keep up with movies much so we don't know what to watch when we actually are able to sit down together and watch one so we will just randomly pick one off of on demand. Last night we chose a movie called, "Everybody's Fine". I must have cried through the whole thing, lol. I have not had a movie effect me like that in a long time. It was just so close to reality in the world today and it broke my heart to watch this man try to connect with his family and come face to face with a different world than he was used to as well as all of the mistakes he made.

I thought about how I used to live in a world just like his where everyone pretended and smiled and lied to each others' faces. I knew I never fit in, but I would try and try until one day I asked myself why. Then,I thought about my friends and family who are still stuck in that pretentious world and they don't even know there is something else available. They can have a life of honesty whe…


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Cor 13:3-8


Several years ago I was in an abusive relationship that I thought was love and the Holy Spirit brought this verse to my attention. I remember calling my brother to ask him where it was in the Bible and he told me he didn't even think it was scripture, but I knew it was so I searched through my Bible to find it. When I did, verse 5 jumped out at me, "love is not easily angered." For years I had justified my ex's anger by saying that he just loved me so much that he could not control it, but God showed me something much different that day. If he truly loved me, he woul…

The Big Game

Eagles versus Giant Chickens

It’s getting dangerously close to the end of the game, but there isn’t anyone who is sure of exactly how much time is left on the clock. The Eagles were chosen as the favorite ahead of time, but now that the game has advanced, they are appearing as more of the underdog and are outnumbered by their opposing team approximately ten to one. The Giant Chickens haven’t exactly been playing by the rules and have even been taunting and bullying the Eagles. However, referees haven’t even noticed that the Chickens have been cheating because their attention has been focused on all of the strife on the Eagles’ sidelines.

I just can’t believe what is going on down on the field. I’ve never seen such chaos and mayhem in my life. Most of the Eagles’ players are just standing around talking to each other and complaining about the coach; they are actually refusing to run the plays that He calls. While others are lying down on the field crying about how big the opposin…

Just because He can

After the death of my mom, I began to question God. Not an angry, unbelieving questioning but a believing questioning... a wondering or pondering.

I began to think about how in the Bible it was common for their lives to change in a split second for the good. Like in Joseph's life a King has a dream and boom he's plucked from prison and promoted to 2nd in the kingdom. But, in today's world, it seems any split second change is always negative. You're just going about life and boom: a crash, a tornado, you lose your job, you lose a loved one... everything is gone.

As I was asking Him why it never seemed to work that way with good things, I mean it's never like boom overnight I'm rich, He revealed to me that it does. The problem is not that the good doesn't happen, the problem is that I've been conditioned by the world and people around me to think of everything as negative or to just explain it away as life. For instance, how many infertile couples would con…

Riddled with Pain

surrounded by people who don't understand what God has willed what God has planned

incapable of seeing  the love that you hold too busy being evil and cold

you're easy to blame when you're the odd man out and everyone else  is on the same old route

headed toward destruction without a care and angry at you  for not being there

you made it to safety swam to the shore nearly drowned  trying to save everyone else on board

but still you try to do all that you can toss in the preserver  gripped tight in your hand

you pray that they grab it and hold on tight but all they want is to continue to fight

they think they are strong won't break and give in when really they're weak  and just want to win

but what are they winning? what is the prize? the hatred and evil I see in their eyes?

what does that profit? what does that gain? when choosing a life riddled with pain

Burying the Past in the Grave

to think you hurt as much as possible 
and that the truth has all come
only to be blindsided
by the truth that has just begun

to hold onto hope for years 
that you'd find healing one day
then to think you finally found it
only to discover it was just a facade

to learn the person you knew and loved
as your best friend
was also someone you never met 
who made others hate you in the end

to never have a chance 
to even talk it through
and to know it wouldn't matter anyways 
after 33 years of trying to

to have to accept that it is what it is
and there is nowhere to turn
not a person to trust
every bridge has to be burned

there's only One way out
and it's plastered with pain
focus on God and your future 
and bury the past in the grave